“Gotcha” from a mother's perspective

I strongly recommend Jane Trenka's article What does “Gotcha” mean?, in which she gives her mother a voice.

It is no longer a secret that intercountry adoption, in the past and present, is not about 'saving orphans', but about taking children from vulnerable families.

The abuses of the Korean adoption system, spelled out in THIS ARTICLE are not typical for South Korea. They can be found in most if not all other sending countries. Same system, same abuses.

What does “Gotcha” mean?
By Jane Jeong Trenka | Published: November 3, 2009


Lee Pil-rye, Trenka's "birthmother"

November is National Adoption Month. What would such a celebration of adoption, whether in the U.S. or another country, mean to my Korean birthmother?

At the time my mother became a “birthmother,” I was six months old, and my sister was four years old. Because she passed away about nine years ago, I will take the liberty of imagining what she might say about the meaning of adoption in her life, if she could read other people’s blogs in English, and if she could blog back.

What Adoption Means to Me
By Lee Pil-rye


I did not give birth to my child “with my heart.” I gave birth to my child with my body – painful, and tearing.

I did not “give” my child to another mother as a “gift.”

I was desperate and without the means to earn enough money myself. I and my children were victims of domestic violence. There was nowhere for us to go. No one would help us. We were so alone. I had no other choice but to relinquish my children.

But my children did not feel relinquished. They felt abandoned. I am so, so sorry.

FULL ARTICLE

See also: Truth and Reconciliation for the Adoption Community of Korea TRACK